Diverting River
by Lexandria
Summary: River Tam, opened up and closed off, is sought out for assistance by a greater being. How could she say no to something so beautiful?
1. Chapter 1

**Diverting River**

**By Lexandria**

**AN:** This just randomly popped into my head yesterday, and I'm not sure if I will keep going with it or not. I have no planned plot, just a concept, so I'm sort of playing by ear. It has been many, many years since I have written fanfiction, so I'm a little surprised at myself.

I do not know if I will continue my other projects or not (_Gateway to the Stars_ and _Relativity_), I might, but I'm finding that my planned plot for Relativity is rather bland and uninspired, and I still have not managed to recover my original plot map for Gateway.

So... Here's what I've gotten so far.

* * *

It often felt like floating. She moved from one side of the ship to another, bare feet picking out the perfect path upon the grating, and the metal felt cold and hummed warm and alive at the same time. Part of River knew, was aware, that there were no obstacles to create the need for the perfect path, but she needed to step just right all the same. Silent, soft, one foot straight, one cocked to the side. Then a step on her toes, the next as well, with a turn all the way about, then forward once more. It was just the path she was to take. Any other path was no good.

Because sometimes, instead of the ship, she was weaving between trees that swayed in the wind, or danced down an empty street, or paced in the garden at her parents' home. Only it was always still the ship, still _Serenity_, warm and alive and humming happily. Home. Always, always home.

Home was Simon and Kaylee, Inara and Mal, Zoe and Wash, Shepherd Book, and even Jayne who hated her.

And so she floated through her home, and no one noticed her. Often, this happened. Sometimes she really moved through, and sometimes she just thought she did. But her feet felt _Serenity_ below her, and River knew that this was a real walk.

They were afraid of her, even though Jubal Early was gone and tumbling through space, alone with his thoughts and no one to hurt again. The feelings were still there, hiding, below the surface. River could see them, and sometimes she could not tell if what she was hearing was what was really happening, or what was lurking below. There was no grating for her feet when it came to words and actions of others. Nothing to ground her in real and not-real and could-be-real.

Kaylee and Simon were..together; Kaylee would not wish to play with her just now. No games of tag, but the smiles for Simon were enough. Being alone was difficult, but she was always mostly alone, anyway. Ever since the Academy. Alone but open and vulnerable and sharp all at once. Opened up and locked down.

She floated back to her room.

* * *

River was dreaming. She always knew when she was, because there would always be something that was not quite right. Even in the Academy, she knew. Something would be off, be wrong. One wrong word, one person knowing something they should not, something. Always something.

In this dream, it was that she was whole, not broken open like an egg that fell out of the nest: insides on the outside and nothing to protect her soft bits.

_"Most do not know they are dreaming right away"_

"I always know. Here I can express myself properly. But I know that you do not belong here, you are not a part of me. How are you in my head and in my dream?"

_"Because I can be. Because I need to ask you to do something."_ The presence felt white, bright, like it would swallow her whole if she let it, and yet beautiful in its harshness.

"You would burn me with your light, if I saw you. Even here."

_"Yes."_

"Your brightness would burn me up, blow me out like a candle, and everyone else too, if they saw. I feel it.

_"You are very perceptive. I am in need of your help, if you are wiling to give it."_

"You could make me, without asking me to help."

_"I could, but I wish for you to want to do it; I will not force you."_

"I will wake soon, and will not make as much sense. You should hurry."

_"You will, yes." _ the light seemed pleased, if light could have emotion. River thought that it aught not to be able to, and yet this one did. _"I need to send you somewhere. I need for you to help change the path that broke the world."_

"Will it change the now?"

_"Yes and no. Your now will not be changed. The now of another timeline might be."_

"This world is only one possibility in millions upon millions. Each possible path creates a new reality."

_"Yes. I wish for you to change a different possibility. You can not change a timeline you are entrenched in, even so far in the past as I wish you to go. You are not any part of the timeline I wish you to alter, you can make changes others could not."_

"Will I be like this? Less broken?"

_"Perhaps. I cannot say. You will not be whole, but you may be better than you are now. You will likely not be worse."_

"Simon would be sad for me to go."

_"He will not know you are gone, if you are successful."_

"Then I will have to be, won't I?"

* * *

River woke pleasantly. One moment she was talking with the brightest light, and the next she was slowly opening her eyes in the dark. There was a soft beeping sound, and something in her throat, and in her arm, and in many other places. Invading. Tubes and machines invading, like the Academy.

And she was afraid, terrified that _Serenity_ and her rescue were all in her head. Another dream and another delusion for the broken girl to mourn. But if this were the Academy, they might not want her awake, might not know. The ones outside the door, talking quietly, thought she was asleep. Thought she was gone, thought she was empty and vacant.

"...severe brain trauma. There is a good possibility that she will never wake up. We can keep her here, on life support, if you wish" The doctor-man was saying to the crying people. A man and a woman, broken but not in the same way she was. Broken like Simon was when he rescued her and found her so very damaged. Broken like when her brother realized there was no way to fix her.

River held still, this was not the Academy. There were too many sad people here, dead and dying, but healing and growing too. There were some relieved people and happy people and excited people. New little people just coming into being, seeing and feeling for the first time. And most of the people here thought only of helping other people. Helping the sick ones.

Hospital.

The bright light said she needed to go somewhere else. Perhaps this was it? But she was lying in bed, while people who mourned for her but did not know her cried and thought she was dead.

"Can't you do something? Anything? She can't be.. she can't be gone, can she?" the woman, the mother, was crying now. The man hugged her protectively, though he grieved too. Little pieces of their hearts died tonight, River could feel them. It made her sad too, she felt their sorrow and wished it weren't so.

But if they mourned for her, should she not tell them she was alive?

_"You should not. You are not here to be their daughter."_ The light spoke to her mind, and River understood only partially. It seemed to know and continued, _"Your body does not exist here. This one will do for your soul to reside, it was the nearest I could find in this timeline to your physical makeup, as well as contains the capability for your mental abilities to work."_

Brain damage, the doctor-man had said something about brain damage.

_"Yes."_ The light answered again before she could speak. Except that with the tube down her throat she couldn't speak anyway. _"I have repaired the other injuries for you, but only brought the brain back so far. It is near to your true body's current configuration."_

If it could heal her, though, why had the light not given those people back their daughter? They were so sad: they needed her to be whole again.

_"Her soul has moved on. They were meant to lose her, that can not be changed in this timeline, not by me. You have more important things to do than to play at being their daughter, River Tam. Sleep. When you wake, it will be time to leave."_

There was no fighting the command. Like a switch, she was turned off, powered down. A machine not yet ready to work...

* * *

When River-the-Machine was turned back on, it was dark. Or, rather it was darker than it had been before. The lights in the hallway had been dimmed, not dark but not so bright, and there was nothing but the steady beeping of equipment. River knew it was time to leave.

Careful careful, she pulled the tube up out of her throat, coughing as it felt like vomiting plastic and choking all at once. She'd swallowed something too big and now it was killing her. Then it was out, and her lips stung from the tape that had held part of it in place. The needles next, and the other tubes that violated her in undignified ways. Last was the important one, the one on her finger that she knew, in the way she always knew things, would sound an alarm and make people run once she pulled it off.

That steady beep was her heart beat, the finger-thing had a cord that ran to that machine. River looked around, felt around without moving, and knew when the nurses were farthest away. Then, she yanked her finger monitor off and bolted.

Down the hallway, around a corner, into the bathroom and up to stand on the toilet. No feet to see under, no way to know. But she was one, and they were many, and she was in a paper gown. Easy to see, easy to know. They would see and she would be made into the daughter of those sad people.

No, that was not why she was here. The brightest light did not want her to be made into a daughter.

There was an air duct, above. Not easy to reach, but she could. She was not like other people, she could do things they couldn't.

Up. Up. Feet splayed between the two flimsy metal walls between toilets, River balanced, bare toes gripping and supporting. Wiggle and push, the grate popped in, she hauled herself up like emerging from a pool. Grating back in place. Hidden in the walls. Like in _Serenity. _ Safesafesafe.

But she did not know these parts of this building, old and large and sad with sick and dying held precariously within. Not safe like _Serenity_, not safe like home. But safe enough.

River wriggled, graceful little worm, through the shaft, following the only path. There were many she could have gone, but this was the only one, the only right one. Yes. This way. This way and then that other way.

This empty girl she occupied moved like she remembered being able to move, and she could feel that she was not better, not fixed. But the light had said that this body was damaged as her body was, that it would be the same, or as same as it could get. The girl in the mirror was not her, though somewhat similar. Similar height, similar build, dark hair, pale skin, long limbs, very flexible. And she could feel the frantic feelings of the people who found her gone, all the searching, the looking, the peeking into rooms and calling of higher authorities.

It seemed best to wait until it had all died down, the search had stopped, before emerging to find her next perfect path. Waiting was her path, now, waiting and watching until the time was right again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Diverting River**

**Chapter 2**

**By: Lexandria**

**AN:** Well, I'm continuing into another chapter, anyway. Again, no guarantees on continuing beyond this. This is pretty much just a project I do when I need to get back into my writing rhythm and/or to de-stress. I have enough thoughts about it to continue in this chapter, but no plans for the story at all. Right now, this is an organic process. I guess we'll see how that goes.

I already lost half this chapter once to a computer crash, so I've had to re-type it. Frustrating nights a frustrating.

* * *

"C'mon Dean! Pick something!" Yeah, yeah. Sam had been at it for a while, now: constantly pushing and saying things like '_get back in the swing of hunting,' _ and _'you were brought back for a reason, Dean!'._ It was driving him insane. No chance to catch his breath. Nope. He was Dean Winchester, destined for something and dragged out of hell to accomplish it. Whatever _it_ was.

Not that he was ungrateful. No, not at all. Being pulled from the pit was great, awesome. Really. Too bad his memories stayed intact, too bad they hadn't come sooner. Too bad that, if he'd had some grand mission to fulfill, they let him go anyway. Hell, Dean wasn't even sure that he believed that Castiel was really an angel. Probably some other nasty that just got really good at masquerading as an angel or something.

Well, no, they'd sort of ruled that out, but... whatever.

Some damn grand plan, sending him to hell. Did they have any idea what it was like, what had been done to him? Did they know what he did after? It made him fucking sick. All of it. He didn't fucking deserve to be back, to be here and not stretched out on the rack, screaming for mercy that would never come. Not to say that he had deserved to go to Hell, but he sure did deserve to have stayed. Especially after what he'd done.

"Hold your damn horses, Sam!" like snapping at his little brother would help. This whole thing was surreal, and didn't feel quite right, sitting in Bobby's kitchen, looking over possible hunts. Bobby had a shit-ton of them, too. One in Georgia, Black Dog, by the look of it. That one he'd probably end up giving to some other hunter nearer to that area of the country. It'd take them way too long to get there. Washington was closer, but looked like a standard haunting, and that one only occurred every seven years. Their window was closed on that for now...

Sam was insisting that he pick his first job back. Probably didn't want to push him too hard or something. The giant marshmallow wanted him to bitch about his feelings, talk about Hell. Kept asking about it. Like he was going to do anything other than tell Sam that he didn't remember it. Better for everyone that way, even if the only one he wasn't fooling was himself. Bobby knew enough to leave him alone. Sam just liked to keep digging. Digging and digging and digging.

"Here! This one!" Frustrated by his train of thought, Dean snatched up the newspaper on the table, the morning edition, and tossed it in Sam's direction. Then, he got to watch as Sam searched for what could possibly pass as a job in there.

"What...this? 'Comatose Teen Vanishes from Hospital, Suspected Kidnapping'? Dude, that could be anything."

"Yeah! That's the point, Sam. It could be anything. Hell, it could actually be a kidnapping, even. But who steals a girl in a coma? My money's on a demon, and since I was brought back by a fucking angel, I should go after demons, right? So, that's it, that's the one I want. Plus, it's local."

"Dean, Montana isn't local. It's a completely different state."

"Close enough. That little town that hospital's in? Right on the state boarder, nearly. Had a great diner with hot waitresses and awesome pie. Never forget me a pie," Dean forced his lips into his old 'yay pie!' happy expression, hoping that pulling it down would camouflage how excited he wasn't. "Besides, if it turns out to be nothing, it'll be quick gettin' back here."

"Well... okay, yeah. Sure, that's fine with me. It's your first hunt back, don't let me change your mind," ever gangly, Sam raised his long arms in surrender, eying Dean carefully. It was pretty damn clear to Dean that Sam thought there was something wrong with him. And, truthfully, there was. He'd never be the same again...

* * *

Wow this town was small. Yeah, he and Sam had been through their fair share of small towns, but this... well, it was nearly as small as they came. He'd been through smaller, sure: one place was pretty much two bars and a post office, but this was about as small as it could get and still have a hospital with more than one floor.

Three. This hospital had three floors. That's it.

Hell of a place for a demon to pick up a meat suit. And what kind of demon took a coma victim, anyway? Demons could use pretty much whatever body, but still. It didn't make a hell of a lot of sense. Nothing special about this girl: barely eighteen, good student, was walking home from ballet practice when she was hit by a car. The car had sped away, and it had taken half an hour for anyone to notice her body and call for help. After that, fairly normal: admitted to the hospital, looks like her parents were informed that she was pretty much brain-dead and that there was no room for recovery. Then, somehow, in the middle of the night she'd just disappeared.

The nurse Dean had sweet-talked into spilling the beans was a bit spooked about it. No one had come into or left the hospital, but somehow the security footage had shown someone sprinting down the hallway out of her room. They only had cameras on the entrances and exits, so the running figure was too far away, and even after searching the entire building, the cops had come up empty. So now, here they were in suits again, fake FBI badges and a lot of fast talking to get them into the room alone.

"I dunno, Dean. There's nothing going on, no demonic signs, no sulphur. Nothing. No sign of entry from the window, no one coming into the building."

"That just makes it more weird, doesn't it? Like, our kind of weird! You shouldn't just dismiss it because it's not obviously demonic, what's gotten into you, Sam? You're in such a hurry to get onto the next hunt that you aren't willing to put the time in to this one?" Not to mention what had been done to his baby, Sam had changed himself, too. He really wasn't the same.

Or maybe Dean just didn't know how things were supposed to be any more.

"Yeah, you're right. Okay, what do you wanna do now?"

Treating him like a child was really starting to piss Dean off, actually. Snapping at Sam, again, wasn't gonna do any good, though. "Well, let's search the rest of the place, then."

* * *

Her mostly safe space was too small. It had started to feel that way after the first day, when hiding in the vent became hot and squished and wrong. But, River knew, with certainty, that it was not time to come out yet. She had, though, at night. But only to get something to drink and to use the facilities in the bathroom, then it was back into the space again to wait.

Wait wait wait. All she ever did in this body. It did, though, work as hers did. That was good. The brightest light had been right about that. The waiting was hard, though, since she could feel all the dying and the hurt and all the happy and the new and it was all at once, all in her head and in the air and reverberating in the walls of this old building. It remembered. And because it remembered, she knew it too.

Eventually, though, the time was right. Two new people came, and River could tell that they were what she was waiting for. They lied to get in, they searched the room, and then the building for her. Something told her that they were what she was waiting for, but coming out now was not right. Something bad would happen. But they did come in a vehicle: black and sleek, and it felt like a home. Not like Serenity, but their version of Serenity. That would be where to go: that way she could not be made into the child of the sad people.

While the men were searching the hospital, River picked just the right path through the vents. She knew just where to go, in the way she always knew things... she just did. It did not glow before her, nor come as whispered directions in her mind. No. Simply put: River moved, and somehow it was just the way to go.

There was a drop after a while, one she had to brace herself against the wall to shimmy down, but that was really the worst of it. Then she was in the vent nearest the ground, and could get out. Another wriggle and another push had the outside grating for the vent pop free, enough for her to squirm out. There was no putting the grating back on, now, her drop had been too great. Instead, it was hidden, buried under the plants and bushes who would never tell of her escape. No one but she would be able to hear them, anyway. River knew that.

The sleek black vehicle was parked a bit away from the other vehicles, and it felt like the right one to move to. So she did, along the way finding a few bits of wire on the ground. They had been waiting for her, and they knew how to tell her to move them to help her get the door open. There was a blanket in the back, as if someone liked to sleep there. See? It was a home, wasn't it? Just smaller than Serenity, smaller than her home. This had been their home for longer, though, hadn't it? Since they were little, since one was a child and one was a baby.

Hiding under the blanket, contorting herself small and inhuman, was not too difficult. Then, just waiting again. Here, though, the memories that came at her weren't so bad, mostly good. Some sad, but all homes had sad memories. River fell asleep feeling warm and safe for the first time since waking in this body that was not hers.

* * *

"...I dunno what to tell you Sam, this job was a bust. I admit it. No need to treat me like I'm gonna break for sayin' it!" the door slammed open quickly, and the vehicle shook a little as one of them got in one side, and the other opened the door to stand for a moment, dumbstruck, before sliding in too. Neither of them really looked in the cab to see if they had any guests. But then, River knew they wouldn't look. Home was safe, there was no reason to look for anyone invading if they did not expect it.

"It's fine Dean, okay? We'll just try another one."

"Stop it, Sam! Just stop! I'm not gonna fucking break!" The one controlling the vehicle, Dean, wanted to do violence. River could feel it lurking just beneath the surface, but harming his home was wrong, so he did not.

The other one made her skin crawl. He did not make another sound, but for frustrated sighs. Then music of some sort, energetic and loud and grating in a way she had never heard, suddenly filled the space. Their home liked it, though it did not sound so melodic, it was complex enough to be interesting. The tension from the fight hung in the air, though, even with it moved so quickly by sound.

Slowly, River unfolded, like a flower opening to the dawn sun, the blanket bunching around her shoulders, though she stayed tucked down on the floor, between the front seat and the back one, behind the driver and far away from the one who felt wrong. "She does not like it when you fight."

* * *

Dean slammed his foot to the break, jerking the Impala off to the side of the road while Sam spun around, pulling his gun to point into the back seat. Once he'd stopped and killed the engine, Dean turned too, though he had to angle himself oddly to do so, since the thing that had spoken was on the floor.

Shit, it was that girl!

"What are you?!" Sam growled, his voice grating and authoritative. The girl, or whatever it was that was wearing her as a meat suit, blinked, turning her head to regard Sam, her eyes not even lingering on the gun for a second. It did not answer, though its expression was far more curious than anything. Curious and confused. But, Sam knew one way to determine if it were a demon in there. "Christo."

"From the Latin, Christus, or from the Greek, Khristos. Your pronunciation is incorrect."

"Uh...Sam? I'm gonna say no to her being a demon." But what the hell was she? She spoke in a tone soft and almost floaty, but at the same time full of confidence and authority on the subject of which she spoke. There would be no arguing with her, however strange she was. It almost reminded him of Castiel and the strange way he spoke.

"Yeah, I get that Dean." Sam muttered, before slowly withdrawing his gun, "Hey, Katie, right? What're you doing back here?" That.. probably wasn't the right way to go either, but Sam was still a softie. Still, though, there was something wrong with that girl, Dean could feel it. Not something evil, but just not quite..right.

"I am not Katie. Katie left: gone and floated away. The brightest light fixed her body for me to use."

Dean hadn't put his gun away, and with a glance towards Sam, he knew that his grip on it was the only reason Sam was being so friendly towards whatever had taken the girl.

"And who are you, then?"

"River Tam" At least it was answering questions, however strangely. That and, for once, something supernatural did not seem hell bent on killing them. It was probably a trap of some sort.

"Why do you need to be in Katie's body?"

"Katie left, my body could not come back here. I needed somewhere to go. This is near enough to my own body that it is comfortable. The brightest light fixed it most of the way, but it is still broken as I am broken." Now, though, she was eying Sam more carefully, and Dean could see that her body was tense, pushing back against the wall of the car. She did not like Sam, that was clear.

"How are you broken, River Tam?"

"They broke me open. Can't fix it. Simon tried, couldn't fix it. Broken forever. Outsides raw like insides. Everything painful and raw." That brought up so many terrible visuals, Dean felt like he might throw up. Oh, but he knew how that felt.

Sam's voice was gentle, now, coaxing. He could talk anyone into anything like that, Dean had seen him do it, "Well, River Tam, maybe we should take you back to the hospital. They can fix you there."

"No!" the violence from that one word, actually yelled at them, made Dean jump from his memories of hell, "Nonono! I am not to be their daughter, I am here to change things. I am supposed to be here. This is where the path lead, and it leads farther away from the Hospital and the sad people who miss their daughter and the sick people and dying people and new people."

"Okay, okay. Shhhh..." Sam held his hands up after another glance to Dean, "We'll take you with us, and talk at the hotel, okay?" The girl nodded, suddenly calm after her outburst, as though nothing had happened.

Without another word, Dean started the Impala and eased her back onto the freeway, making his way toward the hotel they'd rented a room at. Definitely, he'd picked an interesting case...


End file.
